restaurant: memphis roadhouse

the south has, culturally speaking, almost nothing to offer the world-wise northerner. "soul food", especially in the north, is either prepared daintily with luxe ingredients (for an affluent, mostly white clientele) or poorly and with too much margarine and salt (for, you know, urban blacks). neither one ever tastes right, which sucks, because it's really cucina povera and it's really very good. but this little review isn't about soul food, it's about barbeque - the other thing, potentially, the south has to offer. as any novice food-eater knows, good barbeque is indicated by confederate flags, fake wood paneling, cheap vinyl seats, sweet tea, and awful white bread. bonus points if the pitmaster is actually a bigot. i fully expect to be given the "oh man, another northern fag" look when i walk into a proper parlor. it reminds me that they're proud of their heritage.

memphis roadhouse (383 washington ave, attleboro MA) doesn't have any of these indicators. it has crazy crap on the walls - more pictures of heritage cattle breeds than applebee's, at least. it has polite northern waitresses. it is unpleasantly overpriced. and yet, this was my second visit (i'm all-or-nothing when it comes to returning to restaurants). the fact is, i don't understand why they have such - and it pains me to say it - good ribs. their barbeque sauce is inedible, their french fries are skimpy ($5 for a demure pile?) and their cornbread full of sugar ("one day your kids will be eatin' cornbread that's sweet and drinkin' iced tea that ain't and think that's a southern tradition"). but the ribs. dry, mind you, not slathered in that unmentionable sauce. on an absolute scale, i make no claims. but for southern MA they're way better than we deserve. skip everything else on the menu (giant margaritas? jalapeno poppers? wings?) and get a rack of ribs. that's about all you need to know.

i was going to insert some sort of letter grade or forks or nonsense like that but that's not me. i guess i'm not that kind of critic.