readers, i am awfully embarrassed to admit that 24 years into my life i'd never made a hamburger at home. does this reveal some sort of deep-seated flaw? so tonight was a brand-new experience here at the homestead. all thanks to mama, who knows how to do everything.
assembly:
1lb ground beef, as fatty as you can find - i used 85% lean from whofo
a whole lot of salt and pepper
worcestershire sauce (or if you're like me and don't have any, just use tonkatsu sauce and fish sauce, heavier on the tonkatsu - i'm sure you have both of those kicking around)
mix all the above together into a nicely homogeneous mass. now go and find your smoke detector and take the batteries out. then rip it out of the wall. open all your windows. turn a fan on. several fans, if you have them. or, you know, turn on the fantastically efficient hood over your stove. either way. close your closet doors unless you want your wardrobe to smell like burning meat. should i point out that this is not something to make to impress your date? also, should i point out that cats can't stand the sound of an angry smoke detector?
anyhow. preheat a cast iron skillet to somewhere around "roaring hot". have your ground meat mix divided into squash-ball-sized balls. pat a ball in your hands into a very very thin patty. the thinner the better. really. as thin as you can without tearing. now smack it into the skillet and watch the column of smoke billow out. cook until done on one side, flip, and cook until done on the other. i'd say maybe a minute or less per side. i'd aim closer to raw than cardboard, but maybe that's just me. if you like cheese on yours, throw it on when you flip it. i think people use processed cheese for this because it melts so quickly - real cheddar, even grated, takes too long. try to ignore the growing cloud of smoke descending from the ceiling.
finish:
you know what you like on your hamburgers better than i do
toasted buns
put your hamburgers together and serve. these are the kind of thing where the cook eats last, or eats with one hand while cooking with the other.
makes a lot of little burgers.
bonus! secret sauce recipe!
cornichons
shallots
ketchup
mayonnaise
sriracha
honey
salt
pepper
buzz the cornichons and shallots in a food processor until coarsely chopped. fold in the rest of the ingredients. tastes just like mcdonalds but nicer.
1 comment:
You forgot to mention that it helps to have ridiculously high ceilings where the smoke and grease can linger for weeks with little effect on those below.
Have you, by the way, told your readers about cornichon and how well worth the ridiculously high cost they are?
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