recipe: sloppy joes

readers, for most of my young life i'd never had a sloppy joe. i think this is probably because i didn't take to sandwiches at all until later in life, and so mama just never bothered making them. or perhaps she just doesn't like them. who knows? whatever the case may be, i've only started making this particular thing pretty recently and it bears only passing resemblance to any other sloppy joe recipe i've ever seen. so if you're expecting hamburger helper, proceed at your own risk. it's probably more like bizarro-world greek chili, if that helps.

spice mix:
cloves
cinnamon
allspice
nutmeg
fennel
coriander
cumin
paprika

quantities QS. i'd say a little lighter on the cumin and coriander, a little heavier on the sweet spices. don't bother roasting anything unless you really are going artisan-sloppy-joe. grind them all up. you should have a few tablespoons of powder.

assembly:
1T olive oil
1/4lb bacon, diced fine
3/4lb ground meat, your choice - pork? veal? horse?
1 large onion, chopped
a few stalks of celery, chopped
a cubanelle pepper or two, chopped - or any other vaguely spicy not-bell pepper
2-3T brown sugar
1 28oz can whole plum tomatoes, cleaned up and pureed or picked apart with fingers
3T ketchup
sriracha
1-2T vinegar
salt
pepper

heat your olive oil in a dutch oven or equivalent over medium heat. render the bacon until beginning to crisp. pull the bacon out and set aside, crank the heat up a bit, and add the diced vegetables. brown for a few minutes until softening. throw in your spice blend and the brown sugar. cook a few more minutes - don't let the sugar scorch. add your ground meat, and stir until broken up. dump in your tomatoes, and add the ketchup, vinegar and sriracha to taste. i think this stuff is supposed to be rather sweet, but you may prefer to add more vinegar to keep it from seeming candied. turn down the heat to low and simmer, covered, for at least 45 minutes - probably the longer the better. you want the sauce to be thick but not dry. season at the end with salt and pepper.

finish:
cheap ghetto-puffy hamburger buns, toasted
mayo
tater tots

serve your joe on the buns, slathered liberally with mayo. the tots are, culturally, a traditional accompaniment. i think they resemble pre-chewed potato that has been spat, in small mouthfuls, into a deep fryer. some people love 'em. you decide.

makes a lot. serves two for two meals, or four with no leftovers.